Partnered Meditation and Massage

A Spa Site Guest Article by Margaret Doner, LMT and co-author of The Wellness Center's Spa at Home

Contact Margaret Doner, LMT Maureen DiCorcia Esthetics - Wellness Center   • Address: 4307 Albany Post Road Hyde Park, NY 12538 • Phone: 845-229-5560 More Spas in New York • Day Spas in New York • Hotel, Resort and Destination Spas in New York Related Resources The Wellness Center's Spa at Home by Kalia Doner, Margaret Doner, Dale Grust, Inc Wellness Center - A comprehensive guide to making your home a peaceful retreat which includes massage, facials, body treatments More Books about Making a Spa at Home Create a Spa at Home Experience

One of the most enjoyable ways to relax and rejuvenate is to share a guided meditation session and massage work with a partner. It isn't necessary to have fancy equipment, or an expensive massage table; all you need is a willingness to let go and enjoy some quiet time with someone you love.

Setting the Mood

Make sure that you won't be uninterrupted. Unplug the phone, send the kids to a movie or to friends for a few hours and put a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the front door. Then assemble the supplies you'll need: massage oil - canola oil is perfect - in a plastic squeeze bottle; a comfortable massage area - a futon or padded mat on the floor or your bed will do; sheets to cover the massage area and to drape over one another. Next, dim the lights, candlelight is the best, and put on music that soothes - nothing stimulating and preferably without words that might trigger unwanted thoughts or emotions.

If you have a good speaking voice you can record the following meditation and then play it back for both of you to listen to, or you can take turns reading it to one another. Speak calmly and slowly. Very slowly - you'll be surprised at how much time you need to really feel each direction. (Do not record the words STEP ONE, STEP TWO etc...)

Meditation to Relax and Center You

With the music playing softy sit comfortably in a chair with both feet on the floor, palms resting face up in your lap and eyes closed. Take in five deep breaths, drawing the air into your lungs through your nose and sending it out through your mouth. As the air leaves your body feel yourself relax and let the tension of the day slide out of your body and into the earth..

STEP ONE

• Imagine warm sunlight coming down from above. Golden, warm light beaming down from above. It touches the top of your head and relaxes away the tension in your scalp. (Pause for 30 seconds or more to really feel the warm sun)
• The warm glow moves down into the temples and forehead, relaxing them.
• The golden light melts the tension away as it runs off your body, draining away into the earth below you.
• Feel your entire face and head and jaw relaxed by the sun.

STEP TWO

• As the golden, warm sunlight moves down the body, it fills the neck and throat with its soothing presence. Feel the warm sun; feel it melt tension away from the body. Feel the neck and throat relax and open. (Pause 30 seconds at least)
• Continue to imagine the light traveling ever so slowly down the length of the body. As it touches the chest and shoulders, feel them relax and release. Let the tension melt away. The golden light fills the chest and shoulders inside and out and relaxes them. (Pause)

STEP THREE

• Now the sun fills the center of your body. The stomach is relaxed and warm. The golden light glows onto the body and warms it. (Pause)
• The stomach relaxes as the sun spreads into the hips.
• Your body is relaxed and at rest. Imagine a beautiful spring day. The sun penetrates and relaxes your body and mind. (LONG PAUSE)

STEP FOUR

• The sun now warms the hips and thighs. The legs feel its penetrating warmth. They relax. The tension slides off. (Pause 30 seconds)
• The whole body glows with sunlight, you feel warmed and relaxed. (Pause)
• Your feet relax. Your entire body is now relaxed and at peace. You feel peaceful.

STEP FIVE

• As your body relaxes and releases the tension it becomes lighter and lighter. All resistance is removed. As the body becomes lighter, it begins to float. It lifts off the earth and like a cloud it floats upward into the sky. (Pause for at least one minute.)
• Like a cloud your body drifts easily through the sky. The sun warms it. The wind shifts it easily. All resistance is removed. (Pause for at least 30 seconds.)
• Your body is a cloud. It floats over the earth. You are warmed by the sun. You feel peaceful and relaxed. You float on the gentle breeze. (Pause)
• A beautiful bird passes by, singing sweetly. Below you, a stream bubbles along. The green earth greets the sunlight. Your body travels and drifts above it. You are at peace. (Long Pause)
• You travel to a beautiful land. In this land is relaxation and rest. Spend some time in this land of relaxation and rest. Be still. Relax and be at peace. (Pause for at least three minutes.)
• You are now ready to return to the world feeling relaxed and refreshed. I will count slowly to five and you will return to full consciousness. One - coming up. Two - returning, returning. Three - becoming aware of your surroundings. Four - back into the room. Open your eyes. Five -wide awake, wide awake.

Partnered Massage

Once both of you are feeling relaxed and calm you can begin the massage portion of your spa experience. The most important thing about giving a massage is INTENTION. A fancy stroke delivered with roughness or while the masseuse is thinking about something else is only irritating. Long, smooth strokes with moderate pressure feel the best. If you have never done this before go slowly and thoughtfully. Imagine what would feel good to you and it will probably feel good to your partner. It is important that the person be warm! A cold body is a tense body, so use a blanket, a hot pack, a heater or whatever you have handy to make sure the person is comfortable and relaxed. During the winter this is especially important. Have your partner take off all clothing - except underwear if that is more comfortable - and then lie down on his or her stomach with a small pillow under the upper chest (especially important for large busted women and people with stiff necks). Also place another pillow under the ankles. Adjust until they are comfortable. Cover the person with a clean sheet. You also need to be comfortable, so be sure to wear clothing that allows you to move freely as you give the massage. Use as much oil as you need to keep a gliding hand - but not too slippery that you don't get any friction. The following is a very basic back, shoulder and neck massage.

NOTE: Never put direct hard pressure on the bones. If your partner is much bigger and stronger than you are (if you are a tiny woman and he a bodybuilder) experiment with using your forearm and elbow directly into the shoulder muscles to increase the pressure. Hold the pressure until you feel the muscle relax. Always make sure your partner is comfortable and feeling good.

THE BACK

• After the receiver is lying comfortably, lower the sheet until he or she is covered from the lower back downward. Pour a small amount of oil into the palm of your hand and stand or kneel above the head looking down the length of the body. Place your palms along either side of the spine with fingertips pointing toward the feet. Apply smooth, even pressure to tips, palm and heel of the hand and stretch forward in a gliding motion until the heels of your hands are resting on the tailbone. Then move your hands outward to the side of the hips. Gently slide your hands up the body, keeping your fingers relaxed. Repeat this at least three times.
• Place your hands on the outside of the shoulders and gently squeeze the muscles between the thumb and fingers. Continue to squeeze and release the muscles - GENTLY! It should feel good, not painful.
• With your thumbs on either side of the spine glide them down from top to bottom applying a steady, even pressure. Repeat this at least three times.
• Return the thumbs to the top by moving them up the spine in a circular motion. Repeat three times.
• Move to the side of the body and reach your hands across the back to the far side of the body.. Make long gliding motions across the body, working upward from the lower back to the upper. Repeat three times.
• Move your hands in circular motions along the side of the body furthest away from you. Repeat three times.
  Repeat entire sequence standing, or kneeling, on the other side of the body.

THE SHOULDER AND BACK OF THE ARM RUB

• Stand at the shoulder and place both hands on one shoulder. Using the kneading motion of gently squeezing the muscles between the thumb and fingers move hands down from the shoulder to the biceps, continuing the length of the arm to the hand. Return to the top of the arm with a smooth gliding motion. Repeat three times.
• Repeat on other side.
• Next you can use thumb, palm of the hand, fist or elbow (depending on the amount of pressure needed to compress the upper shoulder area. Place a steady pressure on the thickest and tightest part of the muscle tissue and maintain the pressure for a count of twenty or until you feel the tissue relaxing under your hand. Repeat on the other shoulder. Repeat as many times as feels good to your partner.

FINISHING THE BACK

• Return to the beginning position at the head and repeat the gliding motion down the back. Repeat three times. Cover the back with the sheet.

THE NECK

Have the person flip onto his or her back. Place a pillow under the knees to ease lower back tension. Make sure the person is comfortable and warm. Cover with sheet from upper torso to knees or feet.

• Pour about 1 teaspoon of oil into your hands and rub them together.
• Stand or sit at the head of the person. Place your hands over the shoulders with fingertips facing toward the feet.
• Move hands outward, over and around the shoulders.
• Bring them around to the back, under the shoulder blades so they are between the person's back and the mattress (or table) with the fingers pointing down the back.
• Slide them upward along the back to the neck and finally out the back of the head. This is a long slow stroke. Repeat three times.
• Take the person's head in both hands and gently turn it to the left. Let it rest on the table. With long strokes, thumb underneath the body and fingers on top, stroke from the neck downward all the way to the shoulder. Glide your hand around the shoulder and back up to the beginning position. Repeat three times.
• Repeat other side three times.
• Gently lift the head in your hands and cradle it. Make sure your hands are relaxed on the mat or table. Hold the head until the person relaxes the tension from their neck, naturally and slowly.
• Place your fingertips lightly along the ridge of the skull that separates the neck from the head and let the head relax in that position.
• Place the head back down to rest. Using the fingertips of the right hand make circular motions along the ridge - moving from inside to out - Repeat with the left side.
• Scratch the temples and scalp vigorously.

Change positions so that you now receive the massage.

This is a very basic and gentle massage that you should feel free to experiment with.

If you are interested in more detailed instructions for a full body massage videotapes are available by calling The Wellness Center of Hyde Park - 845-229-5560. A guided meditation cassette tape is also available. It includes two 20 minute meditation sessions: One side is a journey of peaceful relaxation and the other is chakra balancing with color meditation. Mastercard and Visa and Discover accepted.

Printed with permission of Margaret Doner, LMT, copyright 1998